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CCTV by Derek Webb


In the security control room of The Oaks shopping centre,  Rich is coming on duty for the night shift, relieving Alex and Jane, two other guards.  Alex is decidedly non-pc with a penchant for zooming in the CCTV cameras onto unsuspecting women shoppers.  Rich is far more conformist and rather pedantic in his attitudes, but he has obviously learnt to put up with Alex’s childish behaviour.  Jane has a penchant for shopping with a capital S and is a bright, rather feisty addition to the security team.

It is, it seems a ordinary evening at The Oaks – until the arrival of Keith, a robber of quite breathtaking incompetence, intent on robbing the shopping centre.

The dull routine of life in a security office is blown away with the arrival of Keith who has a stocking over his head and a gun in the back of the apologetic Jane The horror of the situation is somewhat diluted by the fact that neither Rich nor Alex can make out a single word that Keith is saying, due to the afore-mentioned stocking. The humour comes thick and fast. Alex unwittingly tells Keith all he needs to know, while Rich insists that people adhere to the correct use of grammar whatever the circumstances.

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